determined

I didn’t really miss the time,
sadly
I only thought of
those wasted opportunities
(didn’t really speak for me).

But now I feel
not terrible alone,
kinda forelone,
but also safe,
knowing
that all these moments
I couldn’t take as slowly
are beginning to appear,
again and again,
and I just feel
as if life
holds meaning again,
and as if it’s magic
is there for me,
encapsulating me
in a different brand
of love.

Softly,
I’ve gone
and softly I will walk,
cause only the future holds
that,
which I want.

No past can name me,
censure me daily,
or keep me chained
to a known outcome.

I only allow myself
a comfortable way
forward,
steadily
and sometimes staggering,
but always moving
and always proofing
myself
to myself,
cause I am
my own
judge and jury,
now and forever.